Breastfeeding is Really Hard.

Like really hard. When I envisioned my nursing journey I imagined rainbows and butterflies and the ultimate bonding with my adorable newborn. I thought of my sweet son nestled in my arms cooing and falling asleep at the breast. I thought of all the weight I was going to lose because that's what everyone told me! I never pictured [or knew about] the clogs, the engorgement, mastitis, and the milk blebs. I never thought of how exhausted my WHOLE body would be after pushing an entire human out of it. And pumping is really just another layer of it all. (I will do many posts on exclusive pumping)

I took the lactation course with my hospitals Lactation Consultant (LC or IBCLC) before my son was born, and to be honest, looking back, this did not really help me at all with my journey. Everyone learns differently, but I did not really learn by reading and being told what to do. I learned by doing. The LC helped me most right after labor and the months following when I ran into issues. If your hospital has one-they should-definitely use her! They are amazing human beings.

I tell a lot of people this, anyone who will listen, but breastfeeding is probably one of the hardest and most selfless things I will ever do in my lifetime. There were multiple times I wanted to give up. Every time I got a clog I'd say to my husband, "okay, I'm done. This isn't worth it anymore." But then I'd relieve the clog and forget I said it. And this happened a lot. But then it didn't! Once my milk supply regulated, which is usually at about 12 weeks postpartum, I barely had a clog ever again. And this is something, when talking to other BF moms, that they experienced as well. (Everyone has different experiences with clogs, too. Some people do not even get them. Lucky you!)

So if you are a mama going through the first couple of weeks or month of BF and you want to give up, I'm here to tell you IT GETS BETTER! There's definitely a point in time where you turn the corner, and you get into your groove and it gets so much easier, and that much more beautiful of an experience. But I'm also here to tell you, if you want to stop, for whatever reason, you should. There is no award for the mama who breastfeeds the longest, or best, or happiest. No one [who matters] cares HOW you get your baby nutrients. And if they do, f*ck them. They sound terrible.

xo Courtney