Instagram is Not Reality.

I wrote an entire post on this and deleted it and started over. The name of my blog is "The Unconditionally Honest Mama" and I need to be more blunt about this topic. Instagram can be evil. Instagram can fill a mom with so much self-doubt. I sometimes really hate it. I sometimes take a little break from it. But I always find myself back, probably more from habit or boredom than actual interest in what I'm seeing. Sometimes it really does seem like an addiction. My husband, who is not on really any social media, will sometimes yell at me to stop being on my phone, be more present. This makes me even more self-conscious and self-doubting. Am I really on my phone too much? Am I not paying enough attention to my son in the time that I do get to spend with him? I try to leave social media to the end of the night after Jack goes to sleep. Which is almost worst when it comes to seeing posts that cause mama anxiety.

And the "search" tab that filters what you may be interested in seeing is even more terrible, at least for me. In my search section is a lot of mom accounts about gentle parenting techniques, breastfeeding accounts, baby sleep and wake-windows, Vanderpump Rules Drama (obviously), solid foods, and relationships after baby. It's kind of hard to remind yourself that these posts can be written by anyone, and that they are 80-90% opinion-based rather than fact or evidence-based practices. I remember being in the first few months of Jack's life and thinking that the wake-windows that were on social media were the only option. Of course they were factual information, right? These are sleep coaches and they are literally paid and trained to help your baby sleep. Looking back on my obsessive wake-window time with Jack now, and I wish I could slap myself across the face. The sleep coaches are garbage (sorry if you paid for one and it worked-congrats!)

I think the most interesting part of Instagram and these types of social media are the lies we send out to the public. I know mamas who have the most tragic birthing stories and have the most beautiful, thoughtful, and fun Instagrams. You see them seemingly living their best life, when in reality at the end of the day they are going through hell. An instagram picture is a tiny snapshot (that probably took 50 takes and various amount of reinforcers and a crowd cheering them on in the background) of what the reality of parenting and being a mom truly is.

Instagram is pretty, right? Parenting is not pretty. It's absolutely beautiful, don't get me wrong. But it's totally wack. It's messy, it's f*cking hard, like the hardest thing I've ever done. But who would want to see that stuff on our Instagram feeds? The mama in the wee hours of the night nursing her babe back to sleep for the fourth time. Or the mama getting ready for work in the morning with her baby attached to her leg while she shuffles around the kitchen to get everything ready for the day knowing very well she's about to be late for work, again. Who really cares about that stuff, right? But I'm telling you, if we saw more of this, we'd go less insane when we're going through it.

I totally get that Instagram and social media platforms are meant to be pretty. But it's actual detrimental to new moms. I wish I had known that I'd be in adult diapers for a month postpartum. I also wish someone told me that adult diapers are way better than the pads they give you at the hospital. All you see on social media is these brand new mamas with their beautiful skin and tiny little waists looking like they never gave birth in the first place. And now that I've been through it myself, like, did this bitch really give birth? There's just no way. Where is her adult diaper? And where is her uterus? I could go on and on about the ones who edit for hours their pictures, sometimes of their own babies, but I'm sure you know.

I think I went off on a few different tangents in this post, so I apologize. But that pretty much sums up a mama brain for ya. And don't get me wrong-I totally love seeing all of the adorable posts about parenting and being a mama or parent. But just know, it's okay that it's not all rainbows and butterflies, it's not supposed to be!

xo Courtney