It was a WEEK.

This post was formerly titled 'It was a DAY' but never got done due to the HELL WEEK I endured after my terrible day. It was one of those overwhelmingly terrible in all aspects of life type of days, followed by more overwhelming nights, days, and mornings. All I can say at this point is I am very thankful for my weekends and that it is Friday.

If you're a working mom, especially a FTM (first time mom) then you really get me. My husband and I joke, but we're serious, when we say we "survived" the first year. It truly is surviving. And we both love it and would not trade being Jack's parent for the world, but the first year as a FTM has truly been survival most of the time. This weeks new skill for our son is climbing up the stairs when he very much is not ready for stairs. Every time you think it's going to get easier, they learn a new skill.

I am alone most mornings so I am responsible for getting Jack out of bed, breakfast for Jack, and getting him ready for daycare (another fun part of motherhood). It's funny how much I took for granted those days I just had to get myself ready. Gone are the days of sitting on the couch, watching the news and sipping coffee. I feel like a fucking crazy person, quite honestly. Our garage is down a flight of stairs and I'm a goddamn teacher so if you're a teacher, you know the amount of shit I bring to school each day.

The most efficient I have gotten at packing the car is carrying Jack in one hand and a bag in the other and making several trips to the car. And for those of you who are thinking "just put him in the pack n play!" "Can't he just sit there for a second?" You clearly do not know 1. the layout of my box of a home and 2. my son and what can happen in a matter of .5 seconds. So no, he comes with me everywhere I go. He is with me when I pee. He is with me in my room picking out my clothes. He is with me brushing my teeth and washing my face. He is in the kitchen wreaking havoc while I get my lunch and teacher bag ready for the day (coffee if I'm lucky!). Maybe I am crazy, but I am not so much a risk taker when it comes to potential accidents that can happen if I am not in the room with him.

Anyways, this is pretty much my every morning routine, and by the end of the week, I feel like a fucking depleted corpse. I relish the mornings that my husband is actually home on the weekends so that I can pee on my own. Sometimes I will just sit there extra long to take in the alone time!

And these are JUST the mornings. I go to work and get to deal with 21 Jack's needing me the rest of the day. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love what I do and cannot imagine working a different type of job, but another thing no one prepares you for is going back to TEACHING after having a baby. Now I get why the majority of my coworkers stayed home to raise their kids, then went back to work. It is absolutely EXHAUSTING. I will share plenty more details on teaching while caring for a babe in many other posts, I am honestly just too exhausted to even think about it right now.

It took me days to even get out more than a sentence of this post, but I kept thinking to myself, "I need to write this post. This is exactly why I'm doing this shit in the first place." So, here I am, on a Friday night. No, I am not out with my friends or getting dinner with my husband. In fact, nothing sounds more terrible right now than being anywhere other than my bed. So I intend to close this lap top, watch Firefly Lane, and go to bed at 9:00. Because nothing sounds more beautiful right now than being alone in bed on a Friday night! Until my husband decides to join. Then party over.

xo Courtney